


Honey and Lavender

by morebeesthanyoucouldimagine



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Ereriminibang2k19, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 10:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19439521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morebeesthanyoucouldimagine/pseuds/morebeesthanyoucouldimagine
Summary: Eren knows he’s far luckier than those slaving away in factories and coal mines, yet, he can’t help but feel cursed. To know that his soul mate was none other than the man he was supposed to be attending to all hours of the day was torture. No matter how much Levi seemed to care for him as a friend, Eren highly doubted that any Lord would choose to accept the humble affections from the working class.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 2019 Ereri Minibang! Which means that this fic has some lovely, lovely fanart that you can see here! https://wollkatak.tumblr.com/post/185993583965/okay-so-i-was-partnered-up-with
> 
> Wollkatak worked so hard on it and I am just blown away by it!

“And what do you say if he thanks you?”

“I say ‘thank you for letting me serve you!’” Eren grinned, looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his tie for the fifth time. It was still too big for his frame, but he was too eager to wait. The young boy was drowning in the spare uniform, but he didn’t mind. In the mirror, he saw a very capable servant, but Carla just saw her precious ten-year-old son getting excited for a job he was probably going to have for the rest of his life.

She did her best to hold back her laughter as he lifted his arms, still unable to get his hands out from the silk sleeves. “And what would you do if he asks you to leave?”

Eren paused for a moment, looking in the mirror, before resuming trying to get his arms all the way through the adult sized jacket. “Then I would um…”

“You will leave and wait nearby so you can return quickly if you’re called,” Carla said, tempted to help Eren pull his arms through. She held back and allowed him to try as much as he could. He never did like it too much when people made things easy for him.

“I knew that!” Eren grinned and finally managed to get his hands out from the long silken prison. “I’m going to be the best butler ever.”

Carla couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Eren’s smile was as brilliant as sunshine as he looked to her. He was happy and that’s all she could ask for. She still had no idea how she actually managed to find themselves a place with the Ackerman family, but she was forever grateful. Eren’s cheeks could be covered in the sweat and grime of the factories, and his nails could be black from the dust of the coal mines, but he was here. He was safe.

That’s all she could ever dream of.

-

Lady Kuchel insisted that he needed to wait another two years before Carla actually taught him about his job as a personal servant. She felt that Eren still needed to have the freedom to play as any child should. For many years, Eren ran around the estate as if he was a part of the family. He often caused a ruckus, played a few pranks here and there, stole some food from the kitchen, and sometimes even broke priceless items.

Each and every time Eren got into trouble, Carla was terrified that they were going to be kicked out of the estate and forced to go back to the streets of London. Yet, every time, lady Kuchel would give Eren nothing past a gentle scolding. Even after a decade, it still amazed Carla how Kuchel treated them both with such respect.

-

Carla and Kuchel had planned to officially introduce Eren to Levi. They had hoped that it would be best for them to get to know each other as early as possible. “A butler is practically part of the family, Carla.” Kuchel would tell her over tea as they discussed Eren’s future. She could only hope that her Lady wasn’t lying through her teeth.

Over the years, Carla learned that she really didn’t have anything to fear on the estate. Yet, the hardships of living on London’s streets had Carla paranoid that this was all going to end. Each year, Carla grew more and more worried about what Eren would have to face if he was in the slums. Yet, Kuchel never seemed to get cross with her baby boy.

When the day came to finally introduce her little son to Levi, Carla couldn’t find him anywhere. As Kuchel came to her quarters to ask if she was ready, she found the maid crying as she searched through cupboards for her son. He was probably just hiding or playing a prank, but when Kuchel couldn’t seem to find him, they decided to search outside the servant’s wing. It’s not like a child as young as Eren would really understand that he was supposed to stay in one area of the manor.

As they searched the upper floors, they heard the distinct squeals of children playing. They followed them to find Eren and Levi taking turns riding on a finely painted rocking horse. Eren’s smile was wide, showing off some of his missing baby teeth. Levi had an equally wide grin as he pushed the horse faster and faster, yet never quite fast enough for Eren.

Carla and Kuchel stayed quiet at the doorway for a few minutes, watching their children play together, completely unaware of the social conventions they were breaking. It was a wonderful thing to see children blissfully unaware of the petty hatred between classes.

Any fears Carla had about Eren being mistreated as a personal servant disappeared as soon as she saw the young Lord help Eren off the horse when they were done playing.

When the children finally noticed them standing there, Kuchel cleared her throat and gave a very vague explanation as to who Eren was and why he was there. Instead of being upset at the idea of working for Levi, Eren got excited.

“Does that mean we’ll get to be together and play all day?” Eren smiled, feeling like the luckiest kid in the world.

“Eventually we’ll have to do grown-up things like taxes or smoking pipes, but yeah we’ll be together.” Levi nodded as if he already understood everything about adulthood from his father. That innocence would be fleeting, but it kept the mothers rightfully amused for now.

-

Questions rattled around his head, and he needed answers. Surely his momma would know what the gardener was talking about. As he ran down countless corridors, he grew increasingly frustrated. He didn’t understand much about his mother being promoted to head maid, other than it meant that she could be anywhere on the estate. Even as Eren became more familiar with every detail of the manor, it became harder and harder to find her as she worked.

As he rounded the corner, he saw her carrying a large wicker basket that could barely contain all the linens and cloths that were shoved into it. That’s right, it was Saturday, time to start the laundry again. “Momma?” Eren managed to catch up to her and gently tug on her skirt. In doing so, he nearly tripped her. It was a miracle that she didn’t fall down the marble steps.

Carla grunted as she adjusted the heavyweight in her arms, so she could see her son. “Eren, what have I told you about the stairs?”

Eren huffed, “no playing on the stairs”, he said in a dismissive sing-song voice. “But I wasn’t trying to pl-“

“And why don’t we play on the stairs?” Carla cut him off, placing the basket at the top of the stairs, allowing herself a brief moment to breathe.

“… so we don’t get hurt,” Eren answered, repeating the same lesson that he had heard time and time again. The expectant look on his mother’s face encouraged him to continue. “Or get others hurt.”

“Exactly. Now is this urgent or do you want to talk while I sort the linens?” Carla asked, grabbing the wicker handles once more. The fibers dug into her skin, irritating her already aching hands, but she swallowed the pain as Eren nodded and followed her down the stairs.

He ran ahead and opened up the door to the Servants’ section, giving her an easier time getting in. As soon as she had the basket down, Eren hopped up to sit on one of the nearby shelves instead of a stool. She pulled out a bed sheet and huffed as she looked at him swinging his legs. She had given up telling him not to sit on the shelves, he never really seemed to listen too much. He wasn’t heavy enough to possibly break them, so she just hoped he would grow out of it before he could actually harm them.

“Momma, what’s a soulmate?” Eren asked, his eyes bright in curiosity.

Carla felt a small smile stretch across her lips and she shook her head. “Where did you hear that word?”

“Mr. Braus was talking to Mrs. Springer about them, but I didn’t really understand what they were talking about,” Eren said as he watched his mother start to sort the linens from the silks.

“Well,” Carla grabbed an armful of cloth and handed it to Eren. If he was going to stay and talk with her, he could at least help her. “Some people are lucky enough to have someone in the world that they were meant to be with. They’re absolutely perfect for each other and they would never grow tired of each other.”

“But how would they know that they’re soulmates?” He asked, dumping all the socks he had pulled from his pile into the growing mound at Carla’s knees.

“Legend has it, that they’ll know with just a single touch when they’re both ready.” Carla looked at the white silk dress in her hand for a moment. Even though it was just one of Lady Kuchel’s evening dresses, it would have made a nice wedding dress.

Eren thought for a little bit as he sorted through his pile. “What do…” he paused, “what do soulmates do together?”

“Well, they usually have a family together and live happily ever after.” She reached into the basket, only to have her fingers brush against the worn wicker at the bottom instead of linen. Having Eren to help really made the work go quickly.

“Are Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman soulmates?” He asked as he handed over the few towels he had sorted together.

“Eren, we call them Lord and Lady Ackerman.” She reminded him for the hundredth time. “And no not all momma and papas are soulmates.”

“Do I have a papa?”

Carla paused as she grabbed the washing bin from the cabinet. She bit her lip, wondering if it was better to tell Eren a tall tale or be honest with him. He was getting older, surely, he could take the truth. “No.”

“But Levi has a papa, why don’t I?” Eren asked innocently, unaware of the pain he was digging up.

“Eren-“ Carla raised her voice, before swiftly reigning her emotions in, “why don’t you go play outside for now?”

Eren’s brows twisted in confusion, but he would never turn down the opportunity to weasel out of work for a little bit. He looked at his mother from over his shoulder before he left the room. As Eren’s footsteps faded away, Carla finally let out a sharp sob.

-

The maids, butlers, groundskeepers, orchard workers, chefs, footmen, and governesses rarely paid attention to Eren. It was mostly his mother’s love and Lady Kuchel’s occasional kindness that kept Eren entertained. That and his best friend, Levi.

Eren woke up with his mother, most usually before the sun had even considered rising above the horizon. And while Carla was usually exhausted from her work the day before, Eren was quite rested and full of energy. He was practically bouncing off the walls waiting for Levi to come out of his room. Only the personal servants and select housekeepers could go into the family’s bedrooms.

As soon as Levi was awake, they would usually go snag some breakfast from the kitchen and be on their way. It was usually just porridge for Eren, but Levi would sneak Eren some of his eggs and ham on occasion. Once they were full, they would run out into the orchard and play whatever game came to their mind first.

They would weave between trees, almost knocking workers off their ladders. They would squeal and laugh, annoying the already hungover groundskeeper. But if the boys noticed, they didn’t care. It always just felt like the world was just the two of them at that moment. The moments of warm sunshine and the sweets from the kitchen felt like they would last for an eternity. If Eren’s scraped knees and grass stains on Levi’s trousers couldn’t stop them, then what could?

Time.

Sure, perhaps Eren could have started training earlier. Yes, Levi could have started focusing more on his studies when he turned twelve. But, Kuchel and Carla wanted them to enjoy being carefree until life sunk its claws into them, dragging them down with responsibilities and regrets. And the more something is prevented, the more startling it is when it finally sneaks up on you.

Lord Vincent had his battles with illness all his life, yet money thrown in the right direction always seemed to get him cured in no time. Money for the finest doctors, the softest beds, the purest medicine. While any illness was a death sentence in the slums, Vincent had been able to wriggle his way with death’s grasp time and time again. Yet, time nor death ever stop.

His chief doctor said he would recover in a week.

Levi was aware his father was sick, but it didn’t seem too serious. So, he went out to play with Eren as if it was any other day. The smiles and giggles only stopped when Lady Kuchel stepped out into the orchard. Levi’s smile dropped immediately as his mother gestured for him to come back inside.

All Levi did was give Eren a gentle half-wave as he ran after his mother. They both hoped he would only be gone for a little while.

His mother did not cry. She did not ask what could be done, she only asked how long.

His chief doctor said he had till sundown.

Kuchel had already helped him pick out his mourning clothes before the Lord had breathed his last. Levi knew he should feel sad, but he just felt odd. As harsh as it was, he didn’t really care for the man. He always smelled of smoke and whiskey. His voice was rough and sharp. Levi was usually never allowed near his office or his room. He probably only saw him once a week, maybe twice a month.

He knew he should feel sad; his father was on his deathbed.

His chief doctor said he had an hour.

Levi had never been in the same room as his father for this long in years. Yet, Vincent had no problems with pointing at him and declaring that he was the head of the house. He was the one who was going to run the brewery now. Kuchel held her tongue. The boy was only twelve.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t too long after that Eren started his proper training. He didn’t really have any objections either way. Now that Levi was the “man of the household”, he rarely saw him, let alone spent time with him. Eren’s free time was no longer really valued. What was he supposed to do? Play in the orchard by himself? No thank you.

By the end of his first year, Eren felt he had a general grasp on how to serve really. It wasn’t really much more than “if he asks you to do a thing… do it”. Sure, learning new tasks such as making tea properly and memorizing routines were daunting at first, but Eren mastered it all pretty quickly.

Yet, when his mother told him that she had spoken to Lady Kuchel about an exact day for him to start, his heart sank to his stomach.

The training was one thing, but actually serving Levi? Completely different.

As the day drew nearer, Eren found himself sleeping less and less.

-

Eren stood stiff outside his lord’s chamber. His heart was thundering in his chest, only serving to make him all the more anxious. It was his duty to step in there and assist him in preparing for the day. He had to step inside to serve him, and yet, Eren found his arms welded tight to his sides. His tongue lay heavy in his mouth as he swallowed quietly.

His hand was trembling as he grasped the elegantly gilded doorknob. What if Levi was deep in sleep and Eren startled him? What if Levi was already awake and was moving on with his day without him? What if Levi had already decided that he no longer wanted him for his personal servant?

If he kept standing there asking himself questions, he was going to be there all day. There was nothing he wanted more than to be the best damn assistance Levi had ever known, and that wasn’t going to happen with him just standing there hopelessly.

The old doorknob required a bit more effort to open than Eren had expected, reminding him once again just how old this manor was, just how old the family was. As the heavy door slowly opened, the ribbon of sunlight grew wider as it fell across Levi’s canopied bed. It already looked as if a maid had come through and turned it down. From the doorway, it looked immaculate. The pillows, both useful and decorative, were neatly arranged in a pile against the headdress. The luxurious and exotic silk sheets were folded over carefully.

Had his mother already come through to assist his Lord? Had he already been replaced?

“Eren.” Levi’s voice was quiet and still tainted with sleep, yet it managed to startle the boy all the same. Eren frantically turned around to see Levi sitting his desk scribbling down a few notes. He was still shrouded in the darkness of the room. “Tea?” He asked simply, looking at Eren’s empty hands.

Eren remained silent for a moment, not quite sure if he had heard Levi correctly.

“Did you bring my tea?” Levi spoke again, rubbing his eyes slowly.

Eren’s heart dropped to his stomach.

He had forgotten his Lord’s tea; the one thing Carla had warned him not to do.

“I- I’ll be right back with it!” Eren almost yelped as he quickly ran back out of the room. Eren sprinted down the marble staircase, tempted to just jump over the banister to save time. How could he have forgotten his Lord’s tea? He’s known how important it was since he was a child. What the hell was he thinking?

Eren dodged the maids as they walked in groups of three or four down the hallways. Some of them huffed as he almost knocked them over, most of them were used to him recklessly running around. The only real difference was that he was actually in uniform today. He was sure one of them was going to tell his mother about him acting up on his first day. He’ll have to deal with that later, great.

Eren slammed the kitchen door, startling the hell out of the other servants in the room. Eren quickly apologized and grabbed one of the kettles off of the stove. He ignored how warm the wooden handle was and how one of the maids told him that was for someone else. They were just going to have to wait a few more minutes.

He threw open the cupboards and hastily pulled out a silver tray that was, thankfully, already loaded up with a porcelain tea set. All he had to do now was load it up with creamer, sugar, honey, cinnamon, and any other absurdly expensive additive he could find really.

The hardest part was getting the tea right. His mother had told him that Levi preferred something with mostly Earl Grey, with a touch of something floral. She usually opted for adding some rosebuds, so after pouring the correct amount of loose Earl Grey tea, Eren reached for the tin labeled “rose”. It felt oddly light as he picked it up and prayed that there was still some left. He hastily opened it up, dismayed to see that all that was left was a single pink petal.

Son of a bitch.

Eren racked his brain to remember his mother’s alternative. If there wasn’t any rose, she said to add chamomile. Eren looked back up at the shelf, his eyes ran over all the hand-written labels five times before he realized that the chamomile was right next to the rose. Great. Eren opened it quickly to find hardly any of it left.

Who the fuck was in charge of restocking all this shit?

Eren quickly dumped out all that was left into the pot. This wasn’t enough.

Was he supposed to just bring the tea up like that? Should he add some other flower and hope it was moderately acceptable? Or should he just start crying on the floor?

Levi was already waiting for him, so he couldn’t spend too much more time just hemming and hawing over this. Fuck it. Trying and getting something wrong was better than not doing anything at all.

Eren’s brows furrowed as he looked back up at the flower tins. Without thinking, Eren grabbed a tin labeled “lavender” and quickly put a spoonful into the pot. The florets should be big enough to get caught in the strainer, so at least Levi can’t be mad about that right?

As soon as Eren poured the hot water from the kettle, he quickly put the lid on the teapot and grabbed the tray. The porcelain dishes clinked together as he walked as fast as he could. He wanted to break out into a run, but the last thing he needed was to trip and shatter a whole tea set.

As Eren stepped back into the room, he saw that the curtains were already half drawn and that Levi was out of bed. Placing the tray down on the closest table, Eren quickly scanned the relatively dark room for his Lord. Eren let out a quiet sigh of relief when he saw that Levi was changing into his day clothes behind a room divider.

One of Eren’s biggest fears about the day was the possibility of undressing Levi and redressing him. Carla and some of the other servants taught him how to do so efficiently and without any awkward silence, but still, the thought of doing that with Levi made him feel odd. Apparently, his father never once put on his own clothes by himself, as if his time was far more valuable doing other things. But it wasn’t like he could really multitask while another person was crowding in on his space to unbutton and rebutton his clothes, right? That man would have had other people breathe for him if he could. 

Eren felt uncomfortable just standing there while Levi undressed, potentially unaware that he was there. “My Lord, I’ve returned with your tea.” He called out quietly.

“Pour me a cup,” Levi said. His words were muffled, constrained by the moving of limbs and fabric.

Eren didn’t waste any time setting the silver strainer on top of a cup and slowly tipping the pot. He tried not to audibly wince as he saw that the golden color of the Earl Grey was far, far too pale. He should have waited for just a minute longer. Perhaps a spoonful of honey will mask the lack of taste.

Levi stepped out from behind the intricate divider, pulling his arm through his jacket sleeve. He rubbed his eyes, making a beeline for the tea tray. As soon as he sat down in his favorite armchair, he reached out for the honey jar.

“I-“ Eren interrupted, his tongue getting caught as Levi’s eyes met his, “I already put honey in.”

Levi simply put the spoon down without a word and picked the cup up by the brim. Eren couldn’t believe he still had that habit from childhood. Maybe, just maybe, Levi wasn’t all that different after all these years.

As he lifted the cup up to his lips, Eren’s heart started beating wildly. Oh God, what if Levi was allergic to lavender? Could people be allergic to lavender?

“Is there lavender in this?” He asked quietly, his voice still warped by sleep.

“With a little chamomile, sir.” Eren could only nod and hope that Levi would accept it.

Levi took another sip, thinking for a moment. “I’m usually served Earl Grey with rose.”

“I know, but-“

“This is different.” Levi cut him off. “It just needs to be steeped more.”

Eren couldn’t help but remain quiet as Levi finished his cup in peace. He felt awkward just standing across from Levi, doing nothing but watching him, but that’s what he was supposed to do apparently. As Levi finished, Eren finally spoke up. “I’m sorry about the lavender, sir.”

“I didn’t say that it was bad, Eren.” Levi looked up to meet his eyes.

Eren saw something in them that he couldn’t quite recognize.

-

By midday, Levi had already dismissed him, claiming that he was going to be working for the rest of the evening and didn’t need his assistance.

Eren felt a little bit worried that Levi had already deemed him as a worthless servant, but he went back to the servants quarters nonetheless. The only thing, rather the only person, that could comfort him now was his own mother. Knowing her schedule, Eren stepped into the linen room. The smell of freshly cleaned sheets soothed him but seeing his mother sorting through a pile of sheets and folding them already made him feel calmer.

“Lady Kuchel’s tea was late today.” She said, not looking up from her task. “She wasn’t upset,” She quickly added, “just curious as to what could have happened to disrupt a usually perfect schedule. Did everything go well today?” She asked as she finally glanced back at her son.

Eren could feel his face heating up. Lies and excuses failed to roll off his tongue, each one that came to mind were more ridiculous than the last. He settled on the truth, after all, it was only his first day, right? “No.”

“Eren, what happened?” She sighed, continuing to keep her hands busy as she prepared to fear the worst.

“I forgot his tea.” He said quietly, his hands remaining tight in his lap.

“That was the one thing-“ Carla started as she finished folding the last sheet in the basket.

“I know! I know. I just-“ Eren swallowed, “I don’t know. There’s a difference between practicing being a butler and actually being a butler.”

“Eren,” Carla put her hand on his shoulder, sitting beside him. “You know he’s just a person, right?”

“I know he’s a person!” Eren exclaimed, frustrated by her simple observation.

“He’s not going to hurt you for making a mistake.” She said softly, lifting Eren’s chin. “You two used to be best friends, remember?”

“That was years ago, mom. He seems so different now.” Eren sighed.

“He’s had to take on his father’s responsibilities. Something like that changes people.” She rubbed his back slowly, watching her son’s posture become just a little less tense. “Just keep going Eren, it was only your first day. You’ll do better tomorrow.”

“I hope so.”

-

The next day, Eren didn’t pace in his bedroom. He didn’t waste time looking at himself in the mirror, making sure every hair was in place. He didn’t slowly put on his uniform, trying to review every single little thing. If he was going to do this, he needed to actually think and breathe.

With one foot out the door, Eren took a deep breath before making his way to the kitchen. He was going to do everything right today. He was going to have the tea ready, fully steeped, properly sweetened all before he woke Levi up. He’d show to Levi that he was actually a somewhat decent servant.

Eren opened up the rose tin, pleased to see that it had been restocked. The buds looked quite healthy and the smell was delicate yet divine. These would be fantastic in tea. Should he attempt to make Earl Grey with rose again, or should he add lavender instead since Levi seemed to enjoy it?

Fuck it. Eren put the lid back on and reached for the lavender. He put in what he thought was the same amount as yesterday. Hopefully, he got his own makeshift recipe right.

As he picked up the tin of chamomile, he was relieved that it felt much heavier than yesterday. He opened it to find that it was completely full. Thank god. The relief vanished as he realized that he didn’t actually know how much he put in yesterday. Eren looked back and forth between the spoon and the tin and the pot. Would three spoonful’s be enough or too much? Thankfully, chamomile was mild, so overdoing it might not ruin things too much actually. Eren said a silent prayer and put three scoops in.

All he needed to do now was add the hot water and let it steep this time. Three minutes should be enough, after all, it would still continue to steep in the pot as he carried it upstairs. Eren kept glancing down at his pocket watch as time slowly marched forward. Only a few seconds moved by each time he looked down.

He looked around the kitchen to see if there was anything that could occupy his time for a little while but not a long while. There were scullery maids scurrying about, too busy with their own work. Eren decided it was best not to bother them and just awkwardly stand there.

When three minutes had finally passed, Eren quickly picked up the tray and hurried off to Levi’s room. His heartbeat grew faster as he reached the heavy wood doors. He shifted the tray to rest on his forearm as he quietly pulled on the gilded handle. He left the door open to allow a small sliver of light into the dark room.

As Eren made his way to the table to set the tray down, he realized that Levi hadn’t begun to stir yet. Perhaps he was a little bit early. It should be about seven by now. Eren pulled out his pocket watch, feeling quite pleased with himself. He should be right on ti-

Six thirteen.

Eren’s brows furrowed as he shook the watch, hoping that would somehow change the time. The minute hand stiffly stuck on the 13 mark. Eren let out a silent sigh. In all of his effort to arrive early, it seemed that he had arrived too early.

Well shit.

What was he supposed to do now? Turn back and let his tea get cold? Surely, Levi wouldn’t mind being awake a few minutes earlier than usual, right?

Carefully placing the tray down in the same spot as yesterday, Eren quietly walked towards the bed. “Sir?” Eren whispered, a little louder. He tiptoed forward and gently pressed his fingertips against his bare shoulder, thinking that he could gently shake him awake.

As soon as his fingertips brushed against him, warmth spread between them. But it wasn’t just the warmth of human contact, it was electrifying, consuming. Only one word managed to cross his thoughts; Soulmate.

He quickly pulled his hand back, the magical feeling dispersing almost instantly. And just like that, Eren could think properly again.

Gloves. He needed gloves. Now.

If Levi found out how Eren felt or what they were, then who knows what could happen. He could probably get kicked out, sent to live on the streets. God, they might even kick his mother out too.

Eren looked back at Levi before leaving. He couldn’t tell Levi. He couldn’t let him know.

-

-

Each day it got easier and easier to face Levi. All Eren had to do was keep his wits about him and remember his gloves. Eventually, it was as if they were a part of his daily uniform.

It was almost as if Eren could forget all about the touch.

Almost.

But the more he tried to forget about it, the more often he would think about him, the more often his silver eyes would linger in his dreams, the more often he would yearn for a simple brush of his fingers.

There was nothing he could do to completely get Levi out of his mind. Although it was easier when Levi was in his presence. At least then his thoughts could be somewhat productive. His desire to care for him could be easily turned into attentiveness for his needs. Wanting to learn everything about him was beneficial when Levi was rambling on about the brewery. The tenderness in his heart allowed him to see past Levi’s cold exterior.

Every day Eren fell more hopelessly in love. If only Eren wasn’t a man… or his butler. Fate really had given him quite the poor hand, hadn’t it?

-

“We’ll be heading into town today, Eren,” Levi informed him after he had finished half of his cup.

Eren could barely remember the last time he had been off the estate. He had an even harder time remembering the one time he went to London. His mother had been ill and Lady Kuchel herself offered to watch over him as Carla took a much-needed day of rest. Her original plan for the day was going to take Eren and Levi into town to get measured for some new clothes, but after hearing Levi sniffling and coughing, Kuchel insisted that he stayed home.

While Eren was sad that Levi wasn’t going to come with him, he was old enough to know that Levi needed his rest too. He felt a little better after Lady Kuchel promised him that they would pick out some candy for Levi.

The next few hours were filled with long periods of boredom followed by overwhelming sights and sounds. After the carriage ride and a trip to the tailor’s, Kuchel took Eren by the hand and lead him down a tight street lined full of shops. There were signs in every window inviting them in, people were walking in every which way. Eren held Kuchel’s hand tighter as she easily navigated the hectic street. Eren hadn’t even fully processed everything by the time she was leading him into a store. They were welcomed by cheerful smiles and a warm, sweet smell.

As Kuchel ventured further in to pick up Levi’s favorite licorice wheels, a young man offered Eren a rather large lollipop, on sale since he was “nobility”. They had often mistaken him for Lady Kuchel’s son, treating him sweetly and tempting him with samples of their confectionaries.

She was back by his side a few moments later with a small box for Levi. The young man restated his offer to her, telling her that it was a new item they had and that children loved it so. Lady Kuchel gave in, shaking her head with a small smile. She dropped a few shiny coins into the man’s outstretched hand and handed the sweet over to Eren, who took it from her slowly.

It looked so colorful that Eren was starting to doubt whether or not he was actually supposed to eat it. It wasn’t until Kuchel nudged him that he hesitantly took a lick. His mouth didn’t even know how to process how sweet it was. Before he knew it, he had the entire thing in his mouth, letting it melt slowly onto his tongue.

As much as Eren had wanted to go back to that candy shop, he never really had a chance to make it all the way to London. But if he was going with Levi, he certainly could try to convince him to take a detour. “Are you looking to buy something?” Eren asked, looking at the sugar container and back to his cup. He had always provided sugar for Levi, even though neither of them ever used it in their tea. The Lord preferred the smooth earthy taste of the tea with only a touch of honey.

“Maybe,” Levi took a slow sip of his Earl Grey, letting it rest on his tongue for a moment. Eren’s skill had improved drastically since the first day. “I guess I could go look through some stores afterward.” He nodded, taking another sip. “But, the main point of the trip is to go to the brewery and just check in on things.”

As far as Eren was aware, Levi tended to take care of things from a distance. He mainly filled out paperwork and gave orders for the new batches, but other than that, Eren didn’t really know what Levi did for the family brewery. He did know, however, that Levi only physically showed up if something was wrong. “Is everything alright?” He asked, taking a few cubes of sugar from the container, happily dropping them into his cup.

If Levi was bothered by Eren helping himself to an obscene amount of sugar, he didn’t mention it. Instead, he looked at his own reflection in the golden tea. “It better be.” He muttered.

The dark look in his eyes was unnoticed by Eren as he took a sip of his tea. It was much sweeter, but it would never compare to the lollipop he had.

-

The carriage ride into town was long, but Eren enjoyed it. After all, there wasn’t anything for them to do other than talk. He had expected to be the one carrying most of the conversations, but he was pleasantly surprised that Levi was actually quite talkative that day. From anything to the horses to the weather to how much he hates the smell of the city. Eren felt himself losing the slight tension between them. He didn’t feel like he was talking to his lord or his master anymore. It felt like he was talking to his childhood friend once again.

Levi didn’t smile during the entire trip, but Eren felt like he almost had. He could see it in his eyes, the familiar playfulness, and joy. It was rare to see him look so relaxed, and it meant the world to him that he was the one to make him feel that way.

The amicable atmosphere between them turned sour as Eren realized that his platonic feelings for Levi were turning undesirable. The glances he started to steal were no longer checking to make sure Levi wasn’t getting annoyed with him, but he was glancing at his perfectly kept hair, his silver eyes, his jaw. Eren could feel himself starting to yearn for Levi’s touch once more.

Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be him?

Before Eren’s silence became painfully obvious, the carriage arrived outside of the brewery. Thick smog made it hard to see through the window, but Levi reassured him that they were in the right place.

As Eren stepped out onto the pavement, his nose cried out at the foul smell of the city. The sky was dark with smoke and soot and the sun fought valiantly to pierce through it all. According to one of the old groundskeepers, London used to be a beautiful city until the factories showed up. They had only been out in the city for a few moments and already Eren wanted to go back. Levi’s nose crinkled in disgust as he stepped over the gutter onto the sidewalk. Eren hadn’t even noticed the filth that was beneath them as well.

No wonder Levi rarely ventured out here.

As they stepped inside the brewery, the fresh smell of apples and cleaner awaited them. Workers in aprons moved together in groups as they hurried to complete their tasks. While some carried crates of apples, others were checking on fermenters and other machines he couldn’t recognize. And oddly enough, there were several workers just cleaning. Eren didn’t know much about how factories or breweries worked, but something told him that this wasn’t normal.

Levi muttered under his breath as he pointed his finger around the room, presumably counting something. Eren glanced around, trying to figure out what, but couldn’t figure it out. All he knew was that Levi did not seem happy about it. His narrowed eyes turned up towards the windows of the overseer’s office. He turned to head up a flight of narrow metal stairs to get there.

“Should I just wait here?” Eren asked, immediately regretting saying anything as he saw Levi’s cross expression turn back at him.

His sour expression melted away slightly when his eyes met Eren’s. “No, you should follow. I’ll need a friendly face there.”

Eren could feel his face heating up as he followed Levi to the stairs. Sure, friendly face was just an expression, but it meant everything to Eren.

But the butterflies in his heart moved to his stomach as he stood in front of the stairs. As ridiculous as it sounded, Eren felt uncomfortable just looking at the brewery’s stairs. The stairs at the manor were solid and shallow, whereas here, they were steep and made from grated metal. As Eren’s hands quickly grabbed the railing, he noticed that they looked much newer than the stairs and seemed to be the only well-made part of the structure. As he took his first step up, he absolutely hated how much it shook beneath him. He looked up to see Levi already halfway up the stairs, confidently making his way to the office. Eren swallowed and tried to move quicker.

When they finally reached the top, Levi waited for him to catch up. Eren tried to come up with some sort of explanation for his slowness, but Levi didn’t seem to care. Instead, he narrowed his eyes as he looked through the door’s window, turning the knob forcefully and slamming the door open.

Eren hadn’t seen Levi be so blatantly aggressive in a long time.

As they stepped into the room, Eren was overwhelmed by the smell of stale alcohol and smoke. It seemed to be emanating from the man sitting at the large oak desk. His face was covered by a newspaper, only allowing them to see his hands.

“I received the expense report,” Levi said in a monotone fashion as he sat down in the leather chair across from the man.

“What expense report?” The man lowered the newspaper, finally allowing Eren to see his face. It seemed odd. He had blonde hair, parted down the middle, his bangs barely reaching his brows. His clothes bragged that he was wealthy, but his unkempt beard said otherwise. With circular glasses perched on top of a pointed nose, he looked deep in thought, but the alcohol on his breath made Eren question how rational those thoughts were.

“The one that you tried to hide from me.” Levi’s eyes narrowed.

The man let the paper slip from his hands as he brought a hand up to rub at his eyes. “Are we really going to have this fight again?”

“I told you,” Levi paused, his anger slowly seeping into his words, “that we offer three shillings a day, not one!”

“I didn’t set aside enough money for your asinine ideas, and we’re not taking that money from the expansion fund if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Oh no, not at all.” Levi crossed his legs. “I was planning on taking it directly from your paycheck.”

The man put his hands firmly on the desk before standing, towering over Levi. “Do you want to see this company burn?”

“Do you want to see these people die in the brewery, Zeke?” Levi hissed looking up with a snarl.

“People die every day, Ackerman.” The man, named Zeke apparently, said simply.

Levi leaned back into the chair, his eye contact never breaking. “And you’re okay with being responsible for their deaths?”

Zeke took a breath before droning on something he’s said hundreds of times before. “The brewery is not liable-“

Levi cut him off, all too familiar with the phrase he was going to use. “I don’t mean legally responsible you shithead!”

“I know that you’re used to living on your big fancy estate, used to throwing money around wherever you want, but that doesn’t work here. We wouldn’t have a brewery if it wasn’t for the profits being as high as they are.”

Eren’s eyes flicked back and forth between them, completely and totally unsure of what he should be doing right now. Should he just be standing there by the door awkwardly? Should he pull up a chair too? Should he be standing behind Levi, adding a little bit of intimidation?

Should he really even be in here?

“I wouldn’t have a brewery,” Levi corrected, “if it wasn’t for the workers making our fucking products.”

“You say that as if underpaying them will drive them away.” Zeke shook his head and walked to the window to the main area of the brewery. Something about the man was oddly familiar to Eren, but he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe he had seen him once or twice at the manor or something. “Listen, Ackerman, if I run the place like you want me to, then we’d only be turning in half the profits.”

“So, what?” Levi finally stood up and followed Zeke, looking down at the workers hurrying about below them.

“So, what?!” Zeke repeated, turning to face Levi. Rather, to look down on Levi, he was nearly an entire foot taller than him. “That means we only make half as much money! Do you not understand that?” If that actually bothered Levi, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he turned to leave. Zeke following him closely, his hands in fists. Neither of them seemed all too shocked by this outcome.

Levi opened the door roughly and started to head back down the metal stairs. As Zeke exited the room, he slammed the door behind him with such a force that Eren was shocked that the glass pane in it didn’t shatter.

And Eren was left alone in the office, unsure if he was supposed to follow them or stay put. He considered just sitting down for a moment, but if he followed Levi, then at least Levi could tell him to go back. If he just stayed here, he wouldn’t know what Levi wanted from him.

Eren took a deep breath before gently opening the door as if to apologize for the other man’s rough behavior. As he stepped out of the room, he was greeted by the sight of the stairs. Somehow going down them seemed like even more of a dreadful experience than going up them.

They were just stairs. That’s all they were. Cheaply made, unsafe stairs.

Eren did his best to get down quickly to catch up with his lord. He found them walking down the aisles, observing the workers. Somehow, Levi looked even more pissed off as one of the workers handed him a few pieces of paper and quickly got back to work.

“This isn’t the recipe,” Levi said, looking over the charts of used ingredients.

“No, it’s not. It’s even better.” Zeke boasted. “We changed it to save money. For example, honey’s expensive. We’re going without it.”

Levi just stared up at him for a moment, hoping that he was joking. “The honey is important for the alcohol content and to offset the natural bitterness of …“ His voice trailed off as Zeke kept walking, eager to finish the inspection and get Levi out of his hair.

Levi clenched his fists, crinkling the papers, but following the man nonetheless. He stopped when he saw some workers loading up barrels into a cart. Levi looked at one of the tags on them. “These barrels have only been fermenting for a week. They’re supposed to ferment for two.”

“The less time they ferment, the faster we can sell them!” Zeke smiled. For someone who was so dependent on alcohol, he certainly didn’t understand it.

“I’m taking a sample,” Levi said rolling his eyes. He motioned for one of the workers to hand him a small glass. It was fresh from the testing barrel, customary for each batch. Levi was shocked that Zeke wasn’t trying to sell that one too. As he was handed the glass, Levi nodded his thanks and took a sip. “This tastes like urine.” Levi’s face scrunched up even more. “Eren, try some of this and tell me whether or not it tastes like piss.”

Eren was startled, frozen for a moment before taking a few steps forward to take the glass from Levi. The idea of this being an indirect kiss quickly entered and left as soon as the cider hit his tongue. The taste was bitter, easily overpowered by alcohol. The delicate taste of apples was nowhere to be seen, rather, nowhere to be tasted. Whether it tasted like urine, Eren couldn’t honestly confirm nor deny.

Eren’s shriveled expression was enough of a response for him. “Have you actually tried what it tastes like?”

“Of course not,” Zeke scoffed “I’d rather have whiskey.”

Levi seemed like he was at his wit's end. The inspection finished shortly after that.

-

As they stepped back outside, they were met once again with the awful smell of the city. Eren had assumed that alone was keeping Levi from visiting, but now he could assume it was more about his hatred for Zeke than anything else.

Eren still couldn’t figure out what was nagging him about that man. There was something familiar about him, but he didn’t want to dwell on it.

The first few minutes into their carriage ride was silent, but Eren was too curious to stay quiet. “Have you always been working with him?”

“From the day my father died, yes.” Levi kept his eyes trained on the window, watching the street lights go by.

“He’s…” Eren chose his words carefully, “very different from you.”

“Thank heavens for that.” He scoffed, turning to face Eren. “If I ever grow old and become a beast like him, just go ahead and run me over with a carriage, alright?” Levi chuckled quietly and shook his head. “He’s the son of Dr. Grisha Yeager. My father gave his son the position as part of the payment for treatment.”

Maybe that’s how Eren recognized him. “If you hate him, then why not get rid of him?”

“As much as I hate that bastard, I can’t do this alone. It’s too much for one man. I’ve tried to limit his responsibilities as much as I can, but I still have to admit, he knows the brewery well. He’s been working there longer than I have. He was following my father’s demands while he was still kicking.”

Eren grew quiet for a while. Maybe he was pushing it here. It really wasn’t a servant’s place to ask about any of this. “Is there any chance that he’ll eventually give in and change?”

Levi’s brows raised as he took a moment to think. “I don’t think so. He doesn’t care about people individually, he sees things like a larger picture too often.”

“Have you looked around for anyone to replace him?” Eren asked, still worrying that he was overstepping his bounds.

“I have attempted to, but I don’t even know where to begin.” Levi’s shoulders tensed up. “Some other leaches want to take his place and have offered to numerous times, but there’s no way in hell I’d let anyone like Reeves or Dawk in there. It would be like letting my father take control again.”

Eren didn’t know what to say to that. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, he could only offer him a sympathetic smile as they got closer to the estate. Eren could only hope that Levi could find a worthy business partner soon. It was such a shame to see the brewery so poorly managed time and time again by greedy men.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi never used creamer of course, but Eren knew he should bring it anyways.

Was it wasteful? Yes. Did the full tray of sweeteners show that he was a man of wealth and extravagance? Apparently. Did that makeup for the fact that they would have to throw the creamer away when they were done? Probably not. All that Eren really knew was that Levi’s father always demanded to have everything on the platter, even if he never used it.

There was no way in hell that he was going to have dairy dripping all over his Lord’s carpet.

Eren looked down at his now soaking gloves. He couldn’t keep these on. “I- I’ll go get fresh gloves!”

“Eren, the maids do a good enough job cleaning, you don’t need to wear them all the time.”

“I’m just naturally cold, sir.” Eren lied, already feeling his ears heating up. Levi’s raised brow and narrowed eyes told him that he was already all too aware of Eren’s dishonesty. Yet, he didn’t demand the truth and patiently waited for his tea. A simple cup of tea for a very complicated man.

As Eren moved to place the cup down at the desk, he moved on pure memory. He didn’t expect Levi to meet him halfway. If he had paid a little bit more attention, perhaps he could have pulled back or put it down quicker, or done something, anything.

Their fingers brushed together for a moment before Eren quickly pulled back and dropped the saucer. The teacup shattered on the floor between them, tea quickly spreading on the polished marble. Yet, neither of them paid any mind. Levi’s hand darted out to grab Eren’s before he could take a step back. The warmth was undeniable, unmistakable. Its meaning echoed in their hearts as their eyes met.

Levi opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Eren snatched his hand away quickly.

“Wait-“ Levi called after him.

Eren pretended not to hear and left the room swiftly, leaving Levi to wonder what the hell just happened.

-

Eren managed to hide in the servants' ward for as long as he could. Thankfully, Levi didn’t send anyone after him. He had a few precious hours to be alone, his heart grieving. He wanted to just hide in his room for the rest of his life. But still, Eren had to fulfill his duties.

He couldn’t hide from Levi forever, even if he wanted to.

A thousand tears and a hundred wails hid inside Eren as he moved to knock on the heavy oak door. Levi’s study used to be such a familiar and comfortable place, but now he felt terrified to even stand outside of it. This was surely the last time he would be graced with the privilege of being here.

His knuckles barely lingered against the door before it slowly opened on its own. Levi never just left his study door open, let alone unlocked. Eren couldn’t even begin to imagine what kind of mental state his Lord was in right now. He slowly took a breath of air in, attempting to brace for the worst.

Though Eren tried to step lightly, the clinking of porcelain and silver made it very apparent that he was approaching. Despite this, Levi remained stiff staring out of one of the tall windows that lined the room. Eren had never seen him look so helplessly lost in thought. There was nothing he wanted more than to know exactly what Levi was thinking about, but he already knew to assume the worst.

“Eren…” Levi’s voice trailed off, making him feel a wave of anxiety as Levi thought about his next few words. “What happened this morning?”

He could feel tears pricking his eyes and the familiar warmth of shame flood his face. Eren held his tongue and slowly approached his Lord’s desk, carefully putting the tray down on the perfectly polished wood. “My Lord, your tea.” Eren refused to look up at him, choosing to turn and leave instead.

“Eren, you’re not answering my question.” As he pulled away from the window, the sunlight flooded the study once more, not allowing Eren to hide in the shadows.

Eren remained silent, what was the point in opening his mouth to answer him. He already knew the truth. What more did he want from him? Did Levi want to ridicule him? Did he want to hear the truth from the lips of a servant?

“Eren.” Levi pressed on, taking a few steps towards him, but eventually held himself back as if there was an unseen barrier between them.

“I prepared it to your liking, sir.” Eren continued, trying in vain to not let his emotion slip into his words. But what emotion was it? Was it fear or desperation? Eren himself wasn’t even sure at this point.

Eren didn’t need to say anything at this point, the heavy silence between them was enough already.

Levi grew silent, keeping his eyes on Eren. His face was unreadable as he slowly took a sip of his tea. It was perfect, as expected, but his mind was too clouded with thoughts to really savor it.

Eren couldn’t tell if Levi was judging him or appraising him as his silver eyes worked them up his body. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and live alone for the rest of his life.

-

“Levi.” His mother’s voice snapped him out of his rambling thoughts. “Have you gotten any closer to your decision?”

“I’m thinking that the deal with the Reiss family may work out in the short term, but I’m worried about that bastard starting to get greedy on us.” Levi placed his pen down and leaned back in his leather chair. His head ached, it continued to throb as he tried to think of anyone other than Eren. It seemed to get more and more impossible each moment. The fact that all Levi could come up with was ‘I don’t trust them’ was pathetic. He was no were close to considering anything past their personalities, he couldn’t even begin to consider the grand logistics, profits, or security of it all.

As Levi began to rub his temples, Kuchel let out a concerned sigh. She gave her son a tender smile as she shook her head. “No, dear, not that decision. I meant the decision about Mikasa or Historia.”

Levi’s heart sank to his stomach. He hadn’t even given her offer more than two minutes of thought. Even when he heard it the first time, he knew that there was never a chance that he was going to accept either side of the offer. Now that he knew who Eren really was to him, he couldn’t even stomach thinking of his mother’s request. “I guess I have finally made a decision.”

A brilliant smile stretched across Kuchel’s face, excitement ringing clear in her grey eyes. “And…?”

Levi bit his lip and looked at his mother. “I’m… I’m not going to marry either of them.”

“Levi…” Her voice trailed off. “That’s not how this works and you know it.”

“I refuse to spend the rest of my life with someone who isn’t my soulmate.” Levi placed his hands firmly on his desk and stood up slowly, his back aching. He wasn’t even that old, but his inability to sleep at night was starting to really get to him now.

“Honey, I want you to be able to be with your soulmate, but the odds of actually finding her are so slim. I don’t want you to become obsessed with the impossible.” She held his gaze firmly. Her love was apparent in her eyes and her tone, but Levi didn’t feel it in her actions. Yet, he knew she was just giving him the same options and tasks that she had.

“And what if I already knew who my soulmate was?” Levi asked, turning to look towards the windows that lined the wall behind him.

Kuchel gave a slight chuckle. “Then I would be absolutely shocked, and I would say you should go propose to her today! But…” Her smile faded a little. “We need to be realistic here, Levi. Our family has been around for too long to put it in danger because of something that’s hardly more than a myth.”

“But… If I did find my soulmate, would you allow me to marry… that person?” Levi quickly and awkwardly prevented himself from almost admitting that his soulmate was a man. If his odd phrasing bothered his mother, she didn’t show it.

-

Days with Levi were tense, to say the least. Eren still showed up every morning, but the atmosphere had changed completely. Levi never directly told Eren to follow him or to do anything. Instead, he would simply state what he was doing, as if it was up to Eren to decide whether he was going to join him.

Their casual conversations had vanished, leaving an inhospitable silence that neither party wanted to break. Any time their eyes would meet, the other would quickly look away. Eren was partially furious. If Levi hated him for it, he could at least fire him already and spare them all the awkwardness. The quiet monotone voice paired with emotionless eyes was driving him up a wall.

Blatant rejection was preferable to this bullshit.

“I’m going out to check on the orchard,” Levi said suddenly, getting up from his chair and leaving the room. Eren was left behind, now having to choose if he should follow him or not.

Maybe this was a test or something.

That didn’t seem like Levi’s style, but who knows how much Levi had changed in such a few years. There were so many things Eren had yet to discover and rediscover about him. Maybe, just maybe, this was a good chance to find out some answers.

The walk to the orchard was quick. The spring breeze accompanied them with the sun overhead. Workers wove their paths in between the trees, tending to them. While the trees weren’t in season, they still needed to be thoroughly looked after to ensure a bountiful and healthy harvest.

Levi had an easier time overseeing this part of the family business. Granted, it was literally in his backyard, but also Zeke and his shitty beard weren’t here to harass the workers. Levi handled their salaries personally. At least he could breathe knowing that someone else wasn’t going to fuck this up.

There wasn’t much for Levi to really check and observe. He used it more as an excuse to just leave the manor, get some fresh air, and just escape from everything. Well, everything except for Eren.

Eren was starting to regret coming out, as the longer he stayed with Levi, the more often he noticed him throwing a peculiar look his way. It wasn’t a look of blatant disgust or repulsion. It was almost as if Levi was just simply shocked to see Eren still with him.

Eventually, Levi’s path deviated from the norm. Where he would normally finish his quick inspection and head back inside, he kept walking deeper into the rows and rows of trees. Eren stopped short as the dirt path grew rougher. He really shouldn’t be following Levi out this far. Levi was acting weird. They both were.

It didn’t feel wrong to Eren as he eventually kept walking, but his nerves started to get the better of him as he finally caught up to Levi. He was simply sitting on the ground on the outskirts of the orchard. A small lake surrounded by tall grass and flowers lay before them, untouched by the workers. The thick and wild forest beyond the field marked the edge of the Ackerman land, so why was the family just letting some of their land go unused? They easily had the ability to drain it and expand the orchard, so why hadn’t Levi or his father already done so?

Either way, Eren was thankful they hadn’t. It was the first time Eren had seen land that was purely the work of nature. It was so simple, but it resonated in Eren’s heart as he stood next to his Lord. The worries that he held in his heart were still there, but it felt different.

“Why did you turn out so differently?” Eren asked, his voice just barely above a whisper, his eyes trained ahead, watching the sun slip behind the tree line. Eventually, the silence got to him as he looked to see if Levi had even heard him.

Levi rubbed a small stone between his thumb and forefinger, lost in thought. He could feel Eren’s eyes burning into him as he carefully considered the weight of the question. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like some people in this world exist just to be looked down upon.” He flicked the stone across the water, the ripples stretched and contorted the amber light of the sunset. Levi dared to look up at Eren’s eyes. They had turned gold with the light of the dying sun. It felt as if he could see every inch of his very soul.

Eren remained silent, not out of contemplation, but out of confusion. “What are you talking about?” Eren laughed. “Sure, Reiss and Dawk look down on you, but so many others look up to you and your compassion! I know that since they have money, their opinion is supposedly somehow more important than anyone else’s, but if I were you I wouldn’t give a damn. You treat so many people with a kind of respect that’s so rarely found. When so many others choose to be greedy, you actually care. I just don’t understand how you were raised within their lofty little club, yet you seem to detest them all.”

When their eyes met once more, Levi pulled his wide eyes away from Eren’s. It still astonished him how intense Eren could be at a moment’s notice. But for how momentarily startled he was, he was far more relieved. Levi let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. It was amazing how a vague question could be interpreted so differently. “I had assumed you were asking about my sexuality.”

“I…” Eren’s brows furrowed as he looked down at his lord. “Oh.” Levi’s words finally hit him. “Oh.”

“Come on, Eren.” Levi helped himself to his feet, trying to ignore how loudly his joints cracked as he stood up. “We’re going to be late for our afternoon tea.”

Eren’s eyes were wide, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Did he really mean that? Was Levi saying what he thought he was saying?

Eren walked beside Levi back to the manor, his heart was thundering in his chest, his mind racing. He wanted to ask Levi so much. He wanted to confess even more.

-

“Why didn’t you tell me, even after we touched?” Eren asked, lifting a fresh cup of tea to his lips. Really, if Levi had just told him that everything was fine, then it would have saved him quite a lot of heartache.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you already knew?” Levi asked, his eyes piercing into Eren’s. “Why did you pull your hand away so quickly and leave without a word?”

Eren could only stammer for a bit. Was Levi actually afraid of his rejection? “I was terrified.” Eren put his cup of tea down. “I had assumed that you would be disgusted or … worse.” He didn’t feel the need to elaborate on what he meant. They both knew the harsh realities that were laid out for them.

“Eren.” Levi reached out, placing his hand over Eren’s. The warmth that blossomed up through the contact was addictive and alluring. “Do you not remember that we used to be best friends?”

“What?”

“As children?” Levi pulled his hand back. “You act like that never happened.” He looked away. “You’re always so worried that I’m going to snap at you or hate you or hurt you.”

Eren swallowed, feeling his eyes starting to sting. How long had Levi been yearning for this? How long had Levi been feeling the same worries and fears that he had? God, things were so much simpler back then. “I miss being a kid,” Eren whispered. He reached his hand out to Levi, not really thinking about it.

“I do too, Eren.” Levi didn’t take his hand but chose to get up and sit on the sofa next to him. “But believe me, I don’t think I could ever truly hate you. And I certainly couldn’t hate you for being my soulmate.” Levi placed one hand on Eren’s knee and lifted the other to his cheek. “I wish you had told me sooner.” He sighed wistfully, brushing some of Eren’s hair from his face. “I wouldn’t have had so many sleepless nights.”

“I wish I had too,” Eren said, starting to realize this was probably just a dream. Still, he raised a hand to rest it on top of Levi’s. 

“It’s in the past though. What we need to do now is decide what we’re going to do about this.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Eren whispered, starting to feel the urge to retreat. “Shouldn’t we pretend that this never happened?”

“I don’t know about you, Eren, but I would struggle to do that and I’m not sure there’s a benefit to it.”

“Levi, you’re a Lord.” He dropped his hand and turned away. “I’m your male butler.”

“You say that as if I give a damn.” Levi lifted his chin gently, forcing their eyes to meet.

Eren’s heartbeat ran wild in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he could feel his face heating up or if that was just Levi’s touch. Fuck it, if this was a dream or a cruel joke, he’d still try to enjoy it for as long as he could. “I should have told you sooner.” He whispered, leaning in closer to Levi.

“You really should have.” He whispered back, closing the distance between their lips.

-

Tea time was different now that Levi knew the truth. Eren was no longer afraid to ask Levi about himself. He could finally learn just how much he had changed since they were children. The more he heard about Levi’s competitors and “business associates” the more Eren was proud to be his soulmate. “I still don’t understand how you can be surrounded by corrupt bastards and still turn out to be… you.”

“I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I was raised without my father’s influence. As we both know, he died when I was barely more than a year old. My mother is a kind and compassionate person, but my father…” Levi’s voice trailed off as he stirred his cup slowly, looking down at his own distorted reflection. “He was a monster.”

“Sir, I’m sure that’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Eren weakly smiled. He had heard all the stories and rumors about the man, but he had never seen him while he was alive.

Levi lifted his eyes to meet Eren’s. “An average of 215.4 people died in the brewery each month.”

“Your father didn’t…” Eren paused, choosing his words carefully, “He didn’t personally…”

“Well, I guess he didn’t personally slit their throats, no.” He sighed and took the spoon out of his cup. “This spoon is made from solid silver and embellished with pure gold. It’s probably more expensive than any improvements that could have prevented more than half of those deaths. He didn’t care about that though. All he cared about was packing in as many workers into that death trap as he could to ensure that our old family recipe would be churned out fast enough to fund whatever bullshit he set his eyes on. He didn’t care about their lives,” Levi could feel his eyes starting to sting, “He didn’t care about my mother,” His throat was starting to seize up.

Eren reached out and put his hand on his shoulder, savoring the warmth that immediately blossomed between them. “He didn’t care about you.” Eren finished Levi’s train of thought.

Not a single tear dripped from Levi’s eye as he continued to stare down at his reflection. He couldn’t tell if their bond was stabilizing him, or if it was just the fact he finally addressed the truth out loud. At some point, it didn’t matter. “When the rumors started spreading that my mother had killed him, I knew they were absolute rubbish. Yet, for some reason, I wished they were true.”

“Why would you want that, Levi?” Eren asked, finally dropping the formalities between them.

“I’d like to think that all that’s good in the world would finally snuff out a piece of shit like him. So many people died young because of his inactions, but he got to die in a nice cushy deathbed surrounded by the best doctors.”

Eren nodded, still a little alarmed. “So that’s why you’re so different.”

-

“Eren, I’ve been thinking about something,” Levi said as he finished up the last few lines of his paperwork for the day. “You currently sleep down in the servant’s ward, right?”

“Yes, I sleep in the room next to my mother’s.” He confirmed, unsure of where this was going.

“Well, what if you didn’t sleep down there anymore?” Levi asked, looking up at Eren to gauge his reaction. “There’s a spare room right next to mine you know. It was originally supposed to be for one of my siblings… but my parents never had another kid…” Levi’s voice started to trail off, waiting for Eren to chime in with his answer. Sometimes, Levi wished his mouth didn’t run as often as it did. “You don’t have to, though, it was just a suggestion.”

It sounded wonderful, but how could he just leave his mother behind like that? Sure, they were still in the same household, and sure, she was still surrounded by tens of other maids. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course, take all the time you need. It’s not like anyone will be taking the room any time soon.” Levi gave Eren a gentle smile that didn’t do much to cover up the fact that he was dying inside.

-

They stole away to the orchard as often as they could. They could pretend that they were just inspecting the trees, but in reality, they could hold hands as they walked. They could laugh and smile without a care in the world. They could sneak chaste kisses and hold each other tight, reveling in that mystical warmth. Yet, as joyous as it all was, the lingering feeling of the cold world outside their little haven was never too distant. It was always scratching at the back of their minds.

As the weeks went by, Kuchel became more insistent about Levi finally accepting one of the marriage arrangements. He didn’t want Eren to worry about it, but he knew keeping him out of the loop would just hurt them both in the long run.

The apple blossoms were finally falling from the trees. The sun flickered through the trees’ canopy, just barely lighting up the isolated path.

“The fuck are we supposed to tell her.” Levi sighed, gently rubbing a petal between his fingers.

Eren stayed silent, it was incredible how such comfort could cause so much anxiety. “Maybe we don’t need to.”

As Levi felt the wind dance with his hair, he loosened his grip on the petal. As soon as it was free from his grasp, the wind took it from him. His thoughts ran rampant as he watched the delicate pink shape disappear into the orchard. If only he could just let go of all his worries like that. “I don’t think I could keep something like that from her, nor do I want to. I want her to know who I am.”

“Do you worry that she would cast you away if she found out that you fancied men?” Eren asked, watching how the wind played with Levi’s hair.

“Do you worry that your own mother would do the same?” He countered Eren’s question.

Eren’s reply stayed stuck in his throat. He had never imagined what it would be like to tell Carla. He couldn’t even imagine the pain of his mother’s disgust and rejection. “I don’t… I don’t think she could. I mean, she loves me, right?”

“I know she does, Eren,” Levi smiled softly towards him, “It’s just hard to know how anyone would react to this.”

Eren closed his eyes and let his back fall to the soft grass of the orchard. “I don’t want to hide, Levi,” he said just above a whisper. “But I can’t let you risk your reputation or the estate just for me.” His words were starting to tremble with the tears that were welling behind his eyes.

“I wouldn’t be risking it just for your sake, Eren,” Levi let himself lay down next to his soulmate, somehow able to ignore the dirt and bugs surrounding him, “I don’t think I could ever be happy hiding this. I would be doing it for both of us.”

Eren blinked his tears away as he looked up at the canopy of leaves and branches. The sunlight that managed to slip through the leaves danced upon their skin. It mimicked the warmth of a soulmate’s touch, but it was just as fleeting.

The apple blossoms continued to drift down, catching the light as the wind ushered them away. The apples would start to grow soon, and the brewing season would begin. Levi would be busy once more, with Eren staying by his side in his office. How could they pretend they didn’t matter too much to each other? If anyone else found out, every inch of this estate would be at risk. It wasn’t fair. How could fate put them in this position?


	4. Chapter 4

“You’ve been very distracted lately, Levi,” Kuchel commented quietly, looking her son over. “What’s been going on in your head, hmm?”

“I’m…” Levi paused, he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t prepared to tell her yet. But would he ever be? “I think I may have…”

She had never seen her son labor over a simple sentence like this. She quickly put her cup down and took his hand, trying to give him enough support to say whatever he needed to. “It’s okay, dear, you can tell me.”

“I found my soulmate,” Levi said, refusing to turn to look his mother in the eyes.

Kuchel couldn’t stop the excited gasp that parted from her lips. “Who is she? What’s she like? Is she beautiful?” She tried to only ask a few questions, knowing that overdoing it would only serve to stress him out further, but she was dying to know everything.

Levi’s tongue felt as dry as sand as he kept his eyes to the ground. He could practically feel his mother imagining wedding gowns and grandchildren. How could he tell her? His hand trembled slightly as his stomach twisted into unsolvable knots.

Kuchel wasn’t a fool. Though her son’s face had barely moved, she could tell from his stiff posture that he was afraid, not elated. A feeling that she knew all too well. “He’s not a ‘she’.” The question was stated more as a statement than anything else.

Levi winced, knowing that he either needed to lie quickly or accept his fate sooner than he had hoped. Fabrications of a mystery woman mixed with apologies in his head. Perhaps he could disguise Eren as a woman? No, his mother would see right through that. Maybe he could just lie and say she died tragically and that he never wanted to mention it again. No, that wouldn’t explain how they met. Or he could tell her the truth. No, he would be disowned and outcast. Or he could possibly- No, that couldn’t work. Maybe he- No. God, why did he have to be in this position? What if he- No, no, that could never work. How about- No.

“Levi.” His mother’s voice cut through the useless, panicked clatter in his head. As she gently squeezed his hand in reaffirmation, he felt a little hopeful that just maybe she wouldn’t hate him over something as minor as breaking a huge social standard.

“He’s not,” Levi admitted, trying desperately to keep his voice from wavering. He succeeded, but only barely.

Kuchel let out a sigh of relief, grateful that her son trusted her enough to tell her the truth. She could only imagine how scared he was. “I met my soulmate too.”

Levi blinked his eyes open in shock. “I didn’t think father was-“

“Dear God, Levi, no. That man- that thing- was not my soulmate.” Kuchel let out a quiet chuckle. “I met her when I was just a young teenager. She was just a humble tailor in the dress shop my mother and I frequented. Her hand slipped while she was measuring, and we both knew.”

Levi felt his eyes stinging once more as his mother’s wistful smile turned grim. “What happened to her?”

“I couldn’t help but tell my mother about her, I was just so excited. I thought I was so lucky. My parents…” Her voice trailed off as her memories washed over her. “She was in the papers for the next week after she was outed as being a homosexual.” She swallowed, clenching her hands into fists on her lap. “She was found dead less than a day later.”

Levi had never seen his mother cry. He had assumed she had done so in her lifetime but seeing her breaking down in front of him was surreal. He felt frozen as he watched Lady Kuchel wiping away her tears. He did the only thing he could think of and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I never even learned her name.” She whispered as she squeezed Levi before pulling away to face him. “I married your father because I thought it was my duty to do so. Every day I think about her, and I wonder what could have happened if I just kept my damn mouth shut.”

“Don’t make the same mistake I did. Go find that boy and keep him close and treasure him.” Kuchel ordered, taking Levi’s face in her hands. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, ma.” Levi felt a lone tear slip down his cheek as he smiled at her.

With his mother’s approval, Levi felt a weight lift from his shoulders. As much as he loved her, he didn’t quite realize just how much hearing those words really put him at ease.

-

Levi’s hands were twitching by the time he had finally put a plan together. Things would, in theory, fall into place within the next two months. On paper, the plan was simple, but Levi knew better than to assume that working with people would ever go smoothly. Especially when those people were fat, greedy businessmen who wanted nothing more than to cheat Levi out of the rights to the Ackerman Brewery.

All he needed now was Eren. This entire plan was contingent on him.

“Eren, could you get me some tea?” Levi asked, not even looking up from his paperwork. As his pen scratched against the paper, he expected to hear Eren’s footsteps out the door, but he was met with nothing. Confused, Levi looked up for the first time in a few hours. He rubbed his eyes and groaned, turning his head to look outside. He expected to be met with clear blue skies, but instead, he was looking at a dark night sky. How long had he been sitting there?

Levi pushed himself away from his desk and stood up, his joints cracking in protest. He couldn’t go another year running the brewery alone. He needed to have someone at his side. Of course, anyone would expect him to choose someone with experience in the business, but if he so much as let Reiss into the building he could expect that leech to weasel his way into everything. Or his father would want him to choose someone like Dawk, with enough finances to triple the growth of the brewery. Hell, they could even try to sell overseas. But Levi didn’t want that.

He couldn’t live with himself if his company was being half run by one of those pigs. He needed someone who knew how to actually give a damn about the people making and drinking the cider. He needed someone who he could actually trust to handle something by himself. He needed someone that he could actually stand to talk to for more than half an hour.

So, where the hell was Eren?

After scouring the most estate for the better half of an hour, he grew worried that something had actually happened to Eren. His mother’s story played on repeat in his head, making him fear the worse. Had he spoken to his own mother and was faced with rejection or violence?

Levi’s brows furrowed tighter as he pushed open the gate to the orchard. The moon overhead was his only light as he looked around for his butler. The shadows from the blooming trees swallowed the ground, making it difficult for Levi to see where he was walking. The center path was mostly clear, but the occasional root or rock would cause him to stumble.

It wasn’t until Levi got his boot stuck under a gnarled root that he actually tripped. He fell with a grunt and a wince. He felt his ankle throbbing before he realized what had happened. He looked back to see his pant leg torn open and covered in dirt. Perfect. With a fleeting thought, he wondered if his mother would scold him like a child for ruining his clothes.

Levi used the tree that betrayed him as a support as he stood back up and dusted himself off. Just wonderful. As he took another step forward, his ankle shrieked at him, pain shooting up his leg. What a delight.

Muttering obscenities and curses under his breath, he moved forward.

He was just about to turn back towards the estate when he noticed an oddly shaped silhouette sitting under one of the apple trees. Levi recognized him in an instant but kept quiet as he approached him. It wasn’t like Eren to just leave his side for so long without an explanation.

Questions and awkward greetings clogged Levi’s throat as his mind fumbled with what to say. He clearly seemed upset about something, and now Levi was realizing that he might have done something while consumed in his work.

“I heard that you’re looking for a new butler,” Eren said, his voice barely above a whisper, yet it startled Levi all the same.

“I am,” he affirmed, still awkwardly standing behind Eren in the darkness.

Eren turned his gaze from the ground up to the moon. “I’m assuming that you’ll be going through with the wedding proposal too?”

“I… what?” Levi asked, finally stepping in front of the boy. The moon perfectly backlit his face, giving his hair an ethereal glow.

Eren’s normally radiant smile was replaced with a tight line. “If you’re getting rid of me, I’m assuming it’s because you’ve decided to give in to your ‘duties’.”

Levi held back a sigh and sat down next to Eren. He audibly winced as pain shot up his leg once more, but it quickly subsided as he took Eren’s hand. In the dark evening, he swore that their hands were glowing ever so softly. The warmth flowing between them was enough to chase off the chill from the cold spring air. Eren’s brows furrowed as he looked down at their interlocked fingers. “I’m looking for a new butler, Eren, but I want you to stay on the estate for as long as we both live,” Levi smiled softly as Eren finally met his gaze.

“I don’t understand, my Lord.” A tear slipped quite easily from Eren’s eye and ran down his cheek. It was only now that Levi was able to faintly see the drying streaks of other tears. God, how long had Eren been out here crying?

Levi couldn’t tolerate the thought of Eren crying over him, and he brought one of his hands up to Eren’s cheeks. Levi’s hands were soft, untouched by hard labor. As his thumb swiped away Eren’s tears, Levi was certain now that the contact was giving off a faint glow previously unseen in daylight. “I think I have another job for you, Eren.” Levi squeezed his hand gently, sending another wave of warmth between them. “I want you to be my partner.”

“You want my job… to be your partner?” Eren’s eyes squinted at him. “You want me to be paid… to be your lover?” Eren asked slowly.

“My business partner, Eren.”

Eren’s mouth stayed open for a moment before it finally clicked with him. The look of embarrassed clarity on his face made him all the more endearing. He pulled his hands from Levi and covered his face. “I don’t know anything about the brewery, Levi.” His words were barely audible.

“You’ve been helping me with my paperwork, you took a tour of the main building, you’ve already seen the family recipe-“ Levi rattled off, gently prying Eren’s hands from his face to cup his cheeks.

“But why would you want me as a partner?” Eren asked as if the golden glow radiating from Levi’s hands wasn’t enough of an answer.

“Because I trust you more than anyone else, Eren. I know that you’ll treat this business well, and more importantly, I know you’ll take care of people first.” Levi whispered leaning forward, their lips almost brushing together. “So, what do you say?”

Eren couldn’t resist his lord when he was so close. “Only if I get to be your partner, too.”

“I wouldn’t have anyone else, Eren,” Levi whispered into his lips before they finally let themselves melt into a proper kiss.

-

“You know, Levi,” Kuchel put her cup of tea down next to the new brewery blueprints. “I wanted to get married in the orchard here.”

“I’m assuming father had different ideas.” Levi looked up at his portrait that still hung above the fireplace. He really needed to get rid of that.

“He actually agreed to it, for a while.” Kuchel took the lid off the sugar container, enjoying the melodious clinking of the porcelain.

“For a while?” Levi repeated, walking across the room to look up at his father’s stern image. He was tempted to rip it off the mantle right then and there, but he knew better than to think he could reach that high. “How do you agree to something like that ‘for a while’?”

“Well, he changed his mind two days before the wedding.” Kuchel appreciated her son’s scoff as she grabbed an extra cube of sugar. “He demanded to be wed at Westminster Abbey.”

“I thought only the royal family-“

“’ Money makes you royal’” She quoted the dead man in an over the top gruff voice.

Levi paused and looked to her and back at the painting. “Is that what he meant by that?”

“I guess so,” She shrugged, stirring her Earl Grey slowly. “All I know is we had purchased so much for an outdoor wedding only to not use it. It’s still in storage.”

“Why did you keep it after he died?”

Kuchel paused, watching the sugar dissolve into the golden tea. “Mostly I forgot it was even up there, but I also hoped you could make use of it one day.”

“Mom, I’m not getting married.” He reminded her, sitting back down in his armchair.

“You told me you weren’t getting married to your cousin or Rod’s daughter. You never said you wouldn’t marry your soulmate.” Kuchel smiled. “Speaking of which, when are you going to introduce me to this ‘mystery man’.” She gave him a look, knowing exactly who Levi’s soulmate was. Yet, she wanted to hear it from her son rather than assume.

“I…” Levi’s voice trailed off, feeling rather embarrassed, “I should probably introduce you to him.”

“Yes, you should.” She smiled as Levi quickly left the room. 

Eren, of course, was waiting for him outside of the room. Yet this time, he wasn’t standing upright, bright and ready. He was asleep, barely managing to sit upright on a loveseat just outside of the room. Yes, it was there for servants to take a moment to sit down and rest, but not necessarily to take a nap.

If Eren had been so exhausted, why didn’t he just go take a nap in his bedroom? Levi had told him so many times that yes, he was his butler, but no, he didn’t have to wait on Levi every minute of the day. But Eren was stubborn. Time and time again, he’d claim that he would much rather just wait for Levi to come out.

Levi hesitated before sitting next to him and gently shaking his shoulder. “Eren,” he whispered.

Eren’s eyes snapped open immediately as his body jumped up, fully alert. “I’m awake!”

“Yes, I can see that.” Levi smiled, taking Eren’s hand.

“Did you need me to get some more tea?” Eren rubbed his eyes before standing up to stretch his back.

Levi’s eyes flicked back to the open doorway of his study. “No, actually, I think it’s time you’ve met someone.”

Eren’s eyes followed Levi to the study. He could only see Lady Kuchel in there. Was he out cold for so long that he didn’t even notice someone else walk into the room? Hmm, maybe he and Levi had stayed up too late last night. The look in Levi’s eyes was one of relief and indescribable happiness. His eyes almost looked like they were watering.

“Of course, Levi,” Eren whispered, still quite unsure of the nature of this meeting. Whatever assumptions he had made in those few seconds were proven wrong the moment Levi took his hand and walked back into the study with him.

“Mother-“ Levi paused, waiting for her to look up. “I would like you to meet my soulmate.”

Eren’s eyes widened. He expected her to nearly fall out of her chair, but she didn’t. Instead, she stood up and dabbed away a few tears from her eyes. She was… happy?

None of Eren’s preconceived outcomes of this moment had come true. Her face did not show anger. Not shock. Not disgust or repulsion. But a smile, a delighted smile.


	5. Chapter 5

With Lady Kuchel finally, in the loop, Levi finally felt ready to discuss getting married to someone he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Eren still couldn’t believe this was happening. Sure, he had dreamt about it, but dreams were dreams. This was reality, a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

Levi had proposed to him one night in the orchard, pulling out a simple golden band from his front pocket. Eren was so eager to say yes, Levi didn’t even get the chance to finish speaking before he had cut him off with a kiss. It was as if he was worried that if they didn’t move fast enough that this opportunity would slip from their grasp like petals in the wind. Yet, as their plans began to take shape and the wedding became more and more real, Eren’s heart wavered. He wanted to be excited really, but there was just a little bit more than this than Levi seemed to think.

“So, we’re having the main aisle here, and maybe we’ll move some benches in between the trees?” Levi said aloud, though he was more or less talking to himself. “It would be awkward that way though, people would have to peek around trees. No, that wouldn’t work. Maybe the aisle could start here?”

If Eren’s lack of response was off-putting, Levi didn’t mention it. “So, this side will be for my mother and her select trusted friends.” Levi continued, gesturing to a section of the orchard, before turning to face the other side. “And this side can be for your family and friends.” He said as if there wasn’t a ridiculously large overlap between them. “Your mother is coming, right?” Levi asked, running his fingers through Eren’s soft locks.

“I… I don’t think so,” Eren whispered, feeling the familiar weight of dread creep up through his chest. “She still doesn’t know, about you.” He sighed. “Well, I mean she does know you-“

“Eren.”

“She doesn’t know about us,” Eren said, looking up at Levi. The warmth between them faded as Levi pulled his hands away.

“I didn’t think my mom would accept us, but here we are. And if she doesn’t-“ Levi paused, taking the time to cup Eren’s cheeks, “-then you’re better off without her.”

“Levi, she’s my mother.” He pulled Levi’s hands off his cheeks, taking a step back from his fiancé. “I can’t just cut her out of my life like that!”

“So, what’s your plan then? We’ll get married but you’ll never tell her about it?”

“I don’t know, Levi.” Eren sat down, he could feel mud seeping into his trousers, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. “How can you ask me to choose between the two of you?”

Levi bit his lip. “I don’t want to make you choose between us.”

-

Their wedding planning slowed to a halt after that. They hadn’t changed their minds, but Eren was simply struggling with how he could possibly go through without his mother’s support. She meant the world to him. As days went by, Eren resumed his duties though guilt was seeping into his heart. Sure, Levi was right, if his mother truly loved him, she would accept them. But stuff like this wasn’t that easy, unfortunately.

And while Eren felt himself growing more and more distant from his own mother, Levi and Lady Kuchel had somehow grown even closer. Although they didn’t discuss their sexualities openly, it was clear to Eren that the simple feeling of knowing you’re not alone was what Levi had been longing for so long.

Eren had to step out. It was too much.

As he left the dining room, he heard them continue their meal and pleasant conversation. He could feel Levi’s eyes on him as he left, but he hadn’t called out to him or asked him where he was going.

Maybe Eren should just retire for the night. He can’t feel hopeless when he’s asleep, right?

“Eren,” His mother’s voice startled the shit out of him, “dear, can we talk when you get a chance?”

Eren took a quick breath before turning around to face her. “Lord Levi is going to be very busy for the rest of the day, I don’t think-“

The moment she saw his red ears she narrowed her eyes. Even after all these years, Eren still underestimated her ability to see right through him and his bullshit. “Please, Eren, we need to talk,” Carla begged quietly, grabbing his shoulder.

Eren tried to keep his breathing steady as he followed his mother back to the servants’ ward.

She knew.

There was no way she didn’t.

Eren could feel his limbs growing heavy as his mind tried to come up with any kind of lie to get him out of this. He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t have her disown him today. He should have told her before she found out on her own. She was probably so fucking pissed.

Carla lead her back to her small, quaint little room. Eren stood awkwardly by her bed as she closed the door softly behind them. Her hand rested on the handle for a moment as she let out a sigh. “Lady Kuchel gave me some troubling news today, Eren.”

“Oh no, about what?” He tried to feign innocence. Maybe there was a chance he could lie his way out of this. Maybe he could try and suggest that Lady Kuchel had completely mistaken the whole situation because she was frustrated about Levi rejecting marriage proposals. No, she didn’t deserve that. Maybe this wasn’t even about-

“About you and Levi,” Carla answered, her expression wasn’t one of anger, but confusion.

“I was going to tell you I promise.” Eren wanted to blurt out more, but his tongue was as heavy as iron in his mouth.

“Why would you hide it from me, was it supposed to be a surprise?”

“I don’t know, I was scared, I thought that you would hate me for it all,” Eren whispered, his eyes fluttering shut, just melting into the hug. He hadn’t actually hugged her in weeks. The guilt had been nagging at him for months now. Sure, he didn’t have to tell her, but he wanted to.

“Hate you…” Carla squeezed him tightly before pulling back to look up at her tall son, “for being a co-owner of one of the most successful breweries in the country?”

“What – “ Eren’s brows furrowed. “Oh! I mean, uh, yes…” His heart sank to his stomach, realizing that his dreams weren’t just miraculously coming true. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It was just a, uh, lot to process.”

“And she only told me that much, and even then she didn’t realize that I didn’t already know.” “She shut up like a clam when I told her that you hadn’t mentioned anything about your discussions with Levi.” “This is so exciting!” “Is there anything else you’re keeping from me, young man?”

The weight of the spare wedding invitations in his pocket only added to his anxiety. Levi was excited to hand those out with him tonight, and yet Eren was starting to dread it. Sure, some other servants were already pretty aware at this point, but to face them and tell them that they were getting married was another thing.

If he couldn’t honestly tell his mother right now then how was he supposed to walk down the aisle and profess his vows before a small crowd?

He didn’t have to tell his mother the truth. Really, he could just lie and pretend that he was just a very, very devoted butler. She would never even know the truth. He could say no. He could just say no and walk away. He didn’t need to be honest. He could lie and-

“Yes,” Eren said, feeling a weight starting to lift from his shoulders.

His mother’s face lit up even more as she took a step back and clasped her hands. “Well, go ahead! If it’s anything nearly as great as the other news, then I’m eager to hear it!”

Eren wavered. He could still back out. He could come up with something else to tell her. Hell, he could even lie and say he met a girl-

“I’m going to be Levi’s business partner, but I’m also going to be his…” Eren took a moment to breathe, to steady himself, “…partner.”

Carla’s eyes grew wide, as Eren’s true meaning finally registered. Her expression turned serious as she looked Eren up and down. “Is he pressuring you into this?”

Eren’s heart sank. Though he should have expected this, he had still hoped she would have accepted it immediately. “No, mom, he’s- “ Eren’s mouth felt dry as his words got lodged in his throat. His lips tried to move, but his voice was gone. He could feel tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. “He’s my soulmate.”

“How long have you known?” Carla asked, her voice heavy and distorted as she started to cry.

“Mom, please don’t cry. I’m sorry.” Eren pulled her into a tight hug, hoping and praying that he could talk her into at least tolerating this. “I know this isn’t what you wanted from me but-“

“Don’t cry? You looked terrified to tell me!” She wrapped her arms around him even tighter. “How can I call myself a mother if my son is scared to tell me something like that?” She loosened her grip enough so that she could pull back and look at his face. “I’m sorry you were scared to tell me, Eren.” She wiped away his tears before wiping away her own. “I’m sure you’ve known for years now!” Carla whispered, wondering just how much her son had been dreading this, dreading her.

The relief Eren felt was indescribable. He felt like he could finally breathe as her words finally sank in. God, he couldn’t even imagine hiding this for another week, how could he have gone on with this act for years? “Well, not quite, but it has been some time, yes.”

She shook her head. The obviousness of it all starting to finally wash over her. “I love you, Eren. Nothing is going to change that.”

“I should probably give you this too.” Eren smiled, fishing one of the spare wedding invitations from his pocket.

Carla’s eyes watered even more as she turned it over in her hands. Her fingertips gently traced over the words, feeling the slight indentation from the typewriter, just to make sure it was real.

Her son was getting married.

She couldn’t believe it. Sure, she had wondered if Eren was ever going to find someone, but it had only ever been at the back of her mind. She was far too busy making sure that he was doing his job well. But now that this was real, this was happening, she felt like her heart was about to burst.

She read the card over and over again as if trying to convince herself that she wasn’t just dreaming. Her baby was going to have a happily ever after. She read the wedding date out loud wistfully, before letting her eyes slip shut. She wrapped her arms around Eren once more.

Everything was perfect.

That was until Carla’s eyes snapped open and she said the date aloud again, this time angrily. “You’re getting married this week?! And I’m only just now finding out about it?!”

Eren couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh and just hold her tighter.

-

Levi stood in front of his mirror, quite dissatisfied with his reflection. His hand-tailored suit fit him perfectly, his hair was slicked back, not a single hair out of place. He looked magnificent. Yet, Levi felt he looked too regal. It seemed a bit forced and artificial. Oh well, it was too late to really change anything at this point.

“You know, Levi. I’m pretty sure at this point I’m supposed to say ‘your father would be proud’, but we both know he wouldn’t be.” Kuchel said as she helped straighten his cravat. “Your father is probably tossing and turning in his grave right now. And that,” she smiled, “is a beautiful thought.”

“That bastard doesn’t deserve a peaceful rest.” Levi agreed, feeling a little bit more confident about going out there.

“No, he really doesn’t.” She shook her head and placed a hand on her shoulder. “All that aside, I’m proud of you, Levi.” She smiled, the wrinkles near her eyes becoming even more noticeable. It was clear that age was starting to nip at her heels, but her beauty had remained untouched. All that Levi could hope was that her health would remain untouched for quite some time too.

Levi smiled back, resting his hand on top of hers. “Thanks, ma.”

She pulled her hand away, gently. “Now, go on out there so you can start the rest of your life with him.” She wiped away her own tears before quickly heading off to take her seat.

Levi glanced at his reflection one last time before stepping out into the sunlight.

-

“Eren, I don’t know what to say,” Carla admitted as she saw her son making his final preparations for the ceremony. The suit that Lady Kuchel had tailored for him fit him spectacularly. He would look absolutely flawless if it wasn’t for his hair having a mind of its own. “I guess I was so busy keeping you out of trouble that I never even stopped to actually think about you getting married.”

“I wasn’t that much trouble.” Eren put the brush down, giving up. Even if he got his hair to behave, the light breeze in the air was going to ruin all his work anyways.

“It’s bad luck to lie before a wedding.” She reminded him, a smirk tugging at her lips as she picked up the brush herself and went after the mess he called his hair. Sure, Eren was a grown man, but everyone still needed a little bit of motherly help every now and then.

Eren did his best to resist the temptation of rolling his eyes. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too.” She whispered, tears starting to form at her eyes no matter how hard she tried to will them away. She took a step back, finally happy with his hair. She put the brush back down on the nightstand. “Now, please give me just a moment to take a seat. I don’t want to miss watching you walk up, okay?”

Eren just nodded in response as he gave her one last embrace. Before she left the room, she got on her toes to kiss his forehead and wish him luck. He waited for what felt like an eternity after she was out of sight, allowing his mother enough time to find her seat next to Lady Kuchel.

Eren took a deep breath, trying his hardest to ready himself before stepping out of his bedroom. It wasn’t that long of a walk to the orchard, but his heart was pounding in his chest with every step. He wanted to go through with this, so why was he so afraid?

The more trees he passed, the sweatier his palms got, the more his throat seized up. Eren was terrified to look up. He doubted many people were going to be there, but still, the mere idea of making eye contact with anyone other than Levi was daunting. Not everyone from the manor was there. Mostly just some of the servants that Carla was close to and could trust. But, if a single one of them blabbed to the wrong person, who knew how much hellfire would rain down upon them. God, he could only pray that he could be with Levi forever.

His hair was slicked back, presumably with some sort of gel considering how stiff it looked. It made him look even more elegant than usual, but Eren kind of missed the way his bangs would frame his face and would dance in the wind. Eren found it hard to pry his eyes away from Levi’s face, but he eventually looked at his fiancé’s suit. It certainly didn’t look like something a Lord would get married in. Yes, his clothing was probably quite expensive, but the sight of it alone didn’t boast about Levi’s wealth. It was simple. It was clean. It perfectly encapsulated Levi.

When Eren finally came to stand before him, he almost cried right then and there. They took each other’s hands, looking into each other’s eyes. Levi’s silver eyes gleamed in the golden sunlight as the priest began the ceremony. God, Eren couldn’t even begin to imagine just how lucky he was to be standing here today.

Soon enough, they were presented with the two rings, one silver, one gold. Each ring was strung onto a silver chain, just long enough for their respected wearer to use as a necklace. Eren wanted to wear his ring openly for everyone to see, but that simply wasn’t an option for them. At least this way they could have their wedding bands on them at all times without anyone else knowing.

As soon as Levi placed the necklace around his neck, he lifted his hands to cup Eren’s cheeks before removing them, waiting for the priest to continue.

Even though the ring wasn’t specifically a part of Levi, Eren could almost feel the warmth radiating off of it. As it finally came to rest on his chest, an overwhelming sense of euphoria washed over him. This was actually happening, this wasn’t just some deluded fantasy. Eren held the ring closer to his chest for a moment, letting his eyes slip shut. Even if they were apart, Eren would still have a part of Levi with him forever.

When it was his turn to offer the ring to Levi, time seemed to stand still. Eren picked the necklace up gently as if it would break under the slightest amount of pressure and bring this all to an end. The silver ring moved freely on the chain as it struggled to find a resting place while the necklace was moving. It wasn’t going to break, he knew that. Yet, every fiber of his being was crying out for him to be cautious for once.

Eren’s fingers brushed against Levi’s hair as he lowered the necklace onto him. While yes, he looked stunning, he wished he could have felt Levi’s silky locks. Levi’s entire outfit made him look stunning, but Eren preferred how Levi looked at the end of the day. When he finally let his guard down and relaxed a bit. He couldn’t wait to see Levi wearing the ring that night when everything had finally settled down.

As the silver ring finally came to rest above Levi’s heart, he raised his head to meet Eren’s eyes again. Levi’s usually stoic expression was replaced with one of love. Still, in comparison to most people, he would look expressionless. His lips were slightly curled up at the edges, but his eyes, his eyes were where his true feelings lay. There was no way to put it into words as they looked into each other’s eyes, feeling all sense of doubt leave them.

The small crowd behind them cheered and clapped as their lips finally met, but Eren and Levi didn’t hear them at all. As they held each other close it felt like they were the only ones in the world.

-

While their last trip into the city was less than ideal. Eren had high hopes for today. It was going to be his formal introduction as the co-owner of the brewery. His mother was so excited that he was leaving his role as servant behind and working as a successful business owner, but Eren was happy for other reasons. Unlike his previous occupation, he would be working with Levi, not for him. It was a welcome change that would hopefully resolve some of their awkward miscommunications.

He was also hopeful that without Zeke they could move on to make some larger expansions that were previously denied. Like adding more areas for the workers to take a moment to sit and breathe, getting rid of those dangerous ass stairs, maybe even making the workday shorter. The changes were necessary to prevent more deaths and to create an atmosphere of safety. Levi said that their competitors were already laughing at his proposals, but neither of them could manage to give a fuck about their shitty opinions.

Eren couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to go to work every day legitimately fearing for his life. Sure, Levi was difficult sometimes, but Eren at least enjoyed the challenge of unraveling that man. But he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to worry about not being able to return

Eren doubted their methods would last into the twentieth century, but they could only hope that as the industry progressed that the people in charge would still remember that their workers were just as human as they were.

But only time would tell.

The brewery looked so different without people flittering around like honey bees. It was clean before the formal party began, but Levi could tell that it was getting grosser as each moment went by.

Eren had tried to convince him to put up some kind of decorations to really celebrate it. Even though Levi wanted Eren to feel celebrated within the brewery, he wasn’t going to force his workers onto ladders to put up shitty paper streamers or signs. Besides, Levi was planning on having Eren’s real welcoming party at the orchard. Maybe they’d string up some lanterns between the trees, pop open a few barrels of the freshest cider they had. Levi was still undecided. It was hard to keep a surprise like that from Eren.

He didn’t really have much of a choice in throwing this party. It was considered a tradition among the elite to show off new business partnerships. They were prized more than marriages really.

Eren was hesitant to step back into the brewery.

“I don’t want to do this either, Eren. Just avoid shaking hands as much as you can. These bastards don’t wash them, they think germs only affect poor people.”

Eren opened his mouth to respond but decided that he actually didn’t want an answer. Their personalities alone were enough of an explanation.

“It stinks in here!” Eren harshly whispered to Levi as his noise wanted to fall off.

“Tobacco,” Levi answered simply, but he certainly didn’t hide his repulsion.

It was odd. He could almost just remember what it reminded him off. It brought back memories of his childhood. “I haven’t smelled this since-“

“-Since Vincent died,” Levi answered as if he had gone through the same thought process. “Good riddance.” He scoffed.

Levi didn’t want to stay long. If he had it his way, he would “greet” everyone with Eren and then leave. Yet he had to stay and make sure none of these bastards were up to anything, especially Reeves. After he had formally rejected the arranged marriage with Historia, the bastard seemed to be even more sketchy than usual.

Levi’s eyes flickered over the gathering and recognized the man immediately. To his dismay, it seemed that he was walking right towards them.

“Ugh.” He tried to pull Eren away as quick as he could. There was no way he was going to let his husband be pestered by that vermin.

“Do you know him?” Eren asked quietly.

“I wish I could say I didn’t,” Levi said, throwing a look over his shoulder. “Why don’t you go taste the cider. I’d rather you didn’t stand to close to him. You might catch something from him.” He gave Eren a gentle push towards the table full of glasses.

Levi only had a moment alone before that bastard caught up to him.

“Levi! Who is that man who is hanging around you like a vulture?” The man asked putting an arm around Levi as if they were close friends.

Levi felt like he was going to puke. He quickly lifted Reeve’s arm off of him and stepped to the side to regain his personal space.

Reeves scoffed. He was a shitty actor. He could bad mouth Eren all he wanted in the guise of looking out for his “dear, late colleague’s son”, but Levi knew he was just bitter that Levi didn’t accept his offer. As if it wasn’t blatantly obvious that his power and wealth had already gone to his head. His ugly, disgusting, little head. 

Levi could only chuckle quietly to himself as he looked across the floor to see Eren sampling the cider. His expression wasn’t sour like it had been the first time he tasted it. They had only adjusted the recipe a little more than a month ago and it already seemed like things were looking up.

God, he couldn’t even begin to imagine just how much Eren was going to change everything. And for once, Levi was excited for change.

While keeping his eyes on his husband, he smiled. He put a hand to his chest, feeling his ring underneath his clothing, resting right over his heart.

“He’s my partner.”


End file.
